FC Bayern: Ins and Outs

I had just settled down at my new desk when my phone rang. I was summoned for a meeting in the boardroom at 14:00. I quickly drove to my hotel, put on my best suit/v-neck/skinny tie combo and headed back to the training ground.

Herr Rummenigge was waiting for me, along with 3 other members of the board. I took a seat and the board members gave me a quick introduction to the history of FC Bayern. As a giant of world football, there wasn’t much I didn’t know.

They then set their expectations for the season. For a club like Bayern, nothing but winning the league every year would be good enough, natürlich. To this end, the board would be giving me a transfer budget of €431M and a weekly wage budget of €5.7M.. I did a double-take and it took all my powers of concentration not to spit water all down the front of my cashmere v-neck…

After learning of my budget, my vision for the club started to crystallise. But first, I needed to assess the current playing and non-playing staff. I didn’t know much German at this point, but I had been trying to learn in secret while in Holland. There was a great old TV show I started watching called Deutschland 83 which I enjoyed greatly, but I still needed the subtitles when they spoke quickly.

I brought in the most Galáctico of assistant managers in Paul Clement because he was English and was used to operating with A-List talent at Real Madrid and PSG. He would be able to help me get my ideas across to the high-profile players here at FC Hollywood. David Alaba, who was fluent in English, would also help me while my German got up to speed. Surprisingly, Jérôme Boateng had forgotten all the English he must have learned while at Manchester City. The rest of the backroom staff soon followed and I turned my attention to the squad.

While I was at Heerenveen, I had to work within tight budgetary constraints, building my squad with talented foreign youngsters who I could sell for a profit a few years down the line. I ended up running a net transfer surplus of €60M over the 5 seasons I was there. This time, with the millions at my disposal, I would focus on buying in the best German talent, with the eventual goal of having an entirely German or “home-grown at club” first team squad. Any incoming transfers that didn’t fit this profile would have to be, in the words of Arsène Wenger, “exceptional talents” or “super quality” and must replace another non-home-grown player.

While finishing up my own playing career I became fascinated with the history of football tactics, particularly the philosophy of Total Football and Valeriy Lobanovskyi’s universality. Like Pep before me, I almost wanted to play with 11 midfielders, as they had the best all-round skills. The kind of players I wanted to bring in should be versatile, have great composure on the ball, solid technique and be German (or under 18).

To that end, I picked up the obvious known quantities of Emre Can, Leon Goretzka and Bernd Leno to supplement my squad and make it more German. The non-German or ageing Javi Martínez, Arturo Vidal and Adrián Ortolà made way respectively. For the future, I picked up Thomas Aedtner, a versatile defensive midfielder, Josip Dodig for the defence and a prodigious 15-year-old striker called Helge Eriksen.

Finally, the intriguing inverted wing-back Kevin Boenisch joined us on loan. He ticked all my boxes and was German too, however, Real Madrid didn’t want to sell him to us for anything less than his €58M release clause. If he performed well during the season, I would seriously think about activating it. I had been splashing the cash so far but couldn’t yet justify that kind of outlay on an 18-year-old. I guess those old Heerenveen habits die hard…

 

FC Bayern: Vorsprung Deutsch Technik?

The year is 2020 and the great Pep Guardiola has left FC Bayern by mutual consent after dropping as low as 6th in the Bundesliga. A hot young manager (me) has been tearing up the Eredivisie with sc Heerenveen with a team of foreign wonderkids, so naturally Bayern had me on their shortlist to replace the tight-trousered Catalan. Bayern had sounded me out but I needed more time. I needed to make a decision on my future at the end of the season. After all, I had unfinished business in the Champions League, the only trophy to elude me so far at Heerenveen. In a twist of fate, my beloved Heerenveen were drawn against Bayern in the Champions League final. Sound the narrative klaxon!

Like Pep’s nemesis José Mourinho, I was waiting until after the final to make an announcement on my future. And what a final it was! Our superior finishing won the day and little sc Heerenveen defeated the almighty Bayern!

In the bowels of the Estadio Santiago Bernabéu, while I was celebrating wildly with my team, a knock came on the dressing room door. It was Karl-Heinz Rummenigge, the chief executive of Bayern. You might say he was impressed with my audition for the job that evening. In flawless English he told me the job was mine if I still wanted it. I did.

I said my goodbyes to the players, who were dancing around swigging champagne straight from the oversized bottle, and I gave one final hug to Jerry. Jerry was my defensive rock, my captain. He was a product of the youth academy and a symbol of the club. Barely holding back the tears, I told him he needed to continue leading the team in my absence. I slipped quietly out of the dressing room and didn’t look back. My focus was on Bayern now, and I had big plans.

The next day, I touched down in Bavaria and drove up to the impressive training facilities at Säbener Strasse. The glass-fronted main building and perfectly manicured grass made the facilites at Heerenveen look positively archaic. Turns out a basically unlimited budget CAN buy you the best of everything. Obscured from view by 5m high fences, the pitches were just as Pep had specified, with 18 zones marked out. It was basically deserted of course, the end of season break had just begun after that Champions League loss to my Heerenveen side.
I moved into the manager’s office and got to work.

NB: During this series I have used inspiration from Jonathan Wilson’s “Inverting the Pyramid” for tactical concepts, Martí Perernau’s wonderful “Pep Confidential” for details on the Bayern setup I am taking over, Guido Merry’s (@MerryGuido) central winger, Jonathon Aspey’s (@JLAspey) 4-4-2 for my strike partnership and Cleon’s (@Cleon81) series on attacking football as my “footballing philosophy” (M. Pochettino ™)