Another World Cup is over so it’s time for psymon001’s World Cup Awards!
Here’s a slightly tongue-in-cheek look back at the football festival that was World Cup 2010, in the handy form of an Oscars-style rundown.
The Same Old Arsenal Award:
This award goes to Vicente del Bosque, who seems to have created an unholy hybrid of George Graham’s and Arsène Wenger’s wildly successful Arsenal sides. Spain’s approach play is very reminiscent of the new Arsenal, with lots of sideways passing in front of opponents who like to park the bus. Their reluctance to shoot from range and endeavours to score the perfect goal are instantly recognisable as hallmark Arsenal tactics and have now frustrated millions more than the Gunners ever could on their own. Meanwhile, they have shown tremendous aptitude at grinding out the 1-0 victory, a score which they triumphed by in each of their 4 knockout games.
Of course, given the name of this award, some mention has to be made of cheating. The Spanish regard football as almost a non-contact sport, so their players look to ‘exaggerate’ any contact to get a decision. Unfortunately for the spectator, some players take this to a ludicrous extreme, with supposedly tough centre-backs like Carles Puyol flying to the ground when confronted by a strong breeze. Puyol, along with Andrés Iniesta and Sergio Busquets of peek-a-boo fame are probably the worst offenders. Combine this with the imaginary yellow card move favoured by Xavi et al and it’s not hard to label this (admittedly excellent) Spanish side as a bunch of cheats. Interestingly, even though he was kicked in the chest by Nigel de Jong, Xabi Alonso didn’t stay down for long and just carried on with the game.
The Dick Dastardly Award for Best Villain
It’s a toss-up between master fouler Mark van Bommel and Uruguay striker Luis Suárez. Both caused untold amounts of fury amongst the general public as if they were somehow responsible for global warming or killing Bambi, but was what they did really that bad? Tactical fouling (van Bommel) and deliberate handballs (Suárez) are all part of the game and referees are there to punish the offences appropriately.
For sheer drama and the priceless quote that followed, the award goes to the man that destroyed all of Africa, Luis Suárez. His save on the line in the last minute of extra time ultimately meant Uruguay progressed to the semi-finals and that Ghana, the last remaining African team, went out. His brazen celebrations and claim afterwards that his ‘is the real Hand of God’ might have been a bit much, but it can’t be denied that he did what any professional would have done.
The Roberto Carlos Award for Best Strike by a Full-Back
I only really put this award in as an excuse to link to this goal on YouTube. It is of course the 35-yard screamer by the Holland captain Gio van Bronckhorst against Uruguay.
The Silvio Berlusconi Award for Worst Media Gaffe
Old enemies England and Argentina had a massive scrap for this next award as the managers and centre-backs of both sides tried their best to win this prestigious gong. When the dust settled, it was ponytailed defender Martín Demichelis who emerged victorious after his attempted mocking of England looked a little short-sighted.
Following England’s calamitous 4-1 defeat at the hands of Germany, Demichelis said on Twitter that he wouldn’t be able to return home if he played as bad as John Terry did against Germany. As they say, pride comes before a fall and Demichelis put in a shocking performance against the Germans (many of whom are his teammates at Bayern) as Argentina fell to a 4-0 defeat.
The Arjen Robben Award for Biggest One Man Team
The name of this award suggests it has to go to Holland, however the Oranje turned out to be a very functional (if at times unspectacular) team. With Wesley Sneijder calling the shots in midfield and Mark van Bommel casually kicking anything in front of the back four they showed a refreshing lack of ego and played to the manager’s instructions.
Instead, the award goes to all-round nice guy and Golden Ball winner Diego Forlán. The Atlético Madrid striker was an ever-present in the tournament and was at the heart of every Uruguay attack, and was equally effective dropping deep or finishing moves himself. He even managed to tame the Jabulani, scoring a wonderful free-kick against Ghana and hitting 2 more goals from distance to help him to the top of the scoring charts with 5.
The Walk the Plank Award for Best Mutiny
A totally selfless act by the senior French players finally brought an end to the completely inept Raymond Domenech after 6(!) years. A refreshing bout of honesty from Nicolas Anelka got him banished from South Africa and Yoann Gourcuff did his best Billy No-mates impression to create further tension within the squad. Meanwhile, acting captain Patrice Evra and the rest of his colleagues helped sink the ship with comically poor displays on the pitch. They might have endangered their international careers to get rid of Domenech but surely they have the nation’s thanks for getting rid of the manager.
psymon001's Blog 
It’s the World Cup Awards!
Another World Cup is over so it’s time for psymon001’s World Cup Awards!
Here’s a slightly tongue-in-cheek look back at the football festival that was World Cup 2010, in the handy form of an Oscars-style rundown.
The Same Old Arsenal Award:
This award goes to Vicente del Bosque, who seems to have created an unholy hybrid of George Graham’s and Arsène Wenger’s wildly successful Arsenal sides. Spain’s approach play is very reminiscent of the new Arsenal, with lots of sideways passing in front of opponents who like to park the bus. Their reluctance to shoot from range and endeavours to score the perfect goal are instantly recognisable as hallmark Arsenal tactics and have now frustrated millions more than the Gunners ever could on their own. Meanwhile, they have shown tremendous aptitude at grinding out the 1-0 victory, a score which they triumphed by in each of their 4 knockout games.
Of course, given the name of this award, some mention has to be made of cheating. The Spanish regard football as almost a non-contact sport, so their players look to ‘exaggerate’ any contact to get a decision. Unfortunately for the spectator, some players take this to a ludicrous extreme, with supposedly tough centre-backs like Carles Puyol flying to the ground when confronted by a strong breeze. Puyol, along with Andrés Iniesta and Sergio Busquets of peek-a-boo fame are probably the worst offenders. Combine this with the imaginary yellow card move favoured by Xavi et al and it’s not hard to label this (admittedly excellent) Spanish side as a bunch of cheats. Interestingly, even though he was kicked in the chest by Nigel de Jong, Xabi Alonso didn’t stay down for long and just carried on with the game.
The Dick Dastardly Award for Best Villain
It’s a toss-up between master fouler Mark van Bommel and Uruguay striker Luis Suárez. Both caused untold amounts of fury amongst the general public as if they were somehow responsible for global warming or killing Bambi, but was what they did really that bad? Tactical fouling (van Bommel) and deliberate handballs (Suárez) are all part of the game and referees are there to punish the offences appropriately.
For sheer drama and the priceless quote that followed, the award goes to the man that destroyed all of Africa, Luis Suárez. His save on the line in the last minute of extra time ultimately meant Uruguay progressed to the semi-finals and that Ghana, the last remaining African team, went out. His brazen celebrations and claim afterwards that his ‘is the real Hand of God’ might have been a bit much, but it can’t be denied that he did what any professional would have done.
The Roberto Carlos Award for Best Strike by a Full-Back
I only really put this award in as an excuse to link to this goal on YouTube. It is of course the 35-yard screamer by the Holland captain Gio van Bronckhorst against Uruguay.
The Silvio Berlusconi Award for Worst Media Gaffe
Old enemies England and Argentina had a massive scrap for this next award as the managers and centre-backs of both sides tried their best to win this prestigious gong. When the dust settled, it was ponytailed defender Martín Demichelis who emerged victorious after his attempted mocking of England looked a little short-sighted.
Following England’s calamitous 4-1 defeat at the hands of Germany, Demichelis said on Twitter that he wouldn’t be able to return home if he played as bad as John Terry did against Germany. As they say, pride comes before a fall and Demichelis put in a shocking performance against the Germans (many of whom are his teammates at Bayern) as Argentina fell to a 4-0 defeat.
The Arjen Robben Award for Biggest One Man Team
The name of this award suggests it has to go to Holland, however the Oranje turned out to be a very functional (if at times unspectacular) team. With Wesley Sneijder calling the shots in midfield and Mark van Bommel casually kicking anything in front of the back four they showed a refreshing lack of ego and played to the manager’s instructions.
Instead, the award goes to all-round nice guy and Golden Ball winner Diego Forlán. The Atlético Madrid striker was an ever-present in the tournament and was at the heart of every Uruguay attack, and was equally effective dropping deep or finishing moves himself. He even managed to tame the Jabulani, scoring a wonderful free-kick against Ghana and hitting 2 more goals from distance to help him to the top of the scoring charts with 5.
The Walk the Plank Award for Best Mutiny
A totally selfless act by the senior French players finally brought an end to the completely inept Raymond Domenech after 6(!) years. A refreshing bout of honesty from Nicolas Anelka got him banished from South Africa and Yoann Gourcuff did his best Billy No-mates impression to create further tension within the squad. Meanwhile, acting captain Patrice Evra and the rest of his colleagues helped sink the ship with comically poor displays on the pitch. They might have endangered their international careers to get rid of Domenech but surely they have the nation’s thanks for getting rid of the manager.
Rate this:
Share this:
Related